So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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