i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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