dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
