So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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