there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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