weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
