I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
