U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
