Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
