Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
