Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
