does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
