i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
