Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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