I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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