What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
