We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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