is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
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My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You left your phone here
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