I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
