This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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