you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
