I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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