therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
