Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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