i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he told me I talked like a deaf person
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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