you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
