ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
