you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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