you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
