dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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