I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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