She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
