We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
