He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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