one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
