help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
