operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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