For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
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I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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