bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
