you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
