how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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