She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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