it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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