that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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