He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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