So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
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Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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