Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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