That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
