i permit you to call me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
