GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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