So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
