Porn is love you can see.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
