So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
