the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
