420 ftw
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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