so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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