to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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