i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
