Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
